Imagine you’re at your sixth Christmas party in so many days. The warm room is cluttered with people, decorations, food, drink. You’re enjoying a vaguely monotonous discussion of weather when a woman just to your left begins her rant: “It’s just that it’s getting SO AMERICANIZED! Why yesterday I saw a banner that read ‘Happy Holidays!’ Can you believe that? Now they have to do that in the states to avoid offending the Jews and such. But why here? What’s so offensive about Merry Christmas? I tell you…”

Before you realize what you’re doing she realizes you are staring at her. What do you say? Nothing, as it turns out because she’s busy stuttering something about how she wasn’t talking about you and when you reply, “Of course not.” Everyone lets out his and her collective breath. And you slip out quietly.

It could be days before you realize what you should have said. Maybe you should have explained how “Merry Christmas” reflects the blithe assumption that everyone is the same and that’s why you use the phrase with care. Or maybe you should talk to her about what used to go on in Eastern European Ghettos around Christmas and Easter. Or maybe you should point out that ‘Happy Holidays’ isn’t a compromise but a way of embracing the multitude of festivals happening even here in New Zealand around the solstice. And, hey, you’re not offended. She wasn’t talking about you.

Happy Holidays!